Lord Smellio demands your fealty. (or your reblogs) 33 bi man. I usually just post and reblog whatever floats my boat. Ask me stuff if you want to know more. (he/him)
There’s a note written into my family’s recipe book SPECIFICALLY STATING do not! be tempted to double the pancake recipe! And every year we’re like hmm seems fake. Better double it
Lmao get doubled idiot
Recipe annotations brought to you by our hubris. To the tune of 43 pancakes
If you’re trying to unpack and heal from Christian religious trauma, a thing you really need to understand (if you don’t already) is that you were probably misled about Judaism a lot. Christianity generally tries to paint itself as the self-evident successor of Judaism, and one of the ways it does this is by painting Judaism as Christianity Without Jesus.
In reality, Judaism is practiced very differently from Christianity, and Jews have a very different relationship to their Bible than Christians have to theirs. Just about everything you’ll hear about Judaism from Christians is total hogwash - literally, it’s Christian propaganda. Christianity as most of us know it was shaped by the Roman Empire’s political agendas, and that’s a huge reason why it’s the way it is.
Not just the Roman Empire’s political agendas, but also the Roman Empire’s religious structure.
There was a secretive Roman cult where the followers ritualistically consumed the blood of the god in the form of wine.
Am I referring to Christianity or the Cult of Dionysius?
There was a Roman religious cult where the primary theological belief structure is that there is a god of light and good in an eternal conflict for the fate of the world with a god of darkness and evil.
Am I referring to Christianity or Zoroastrianism, in its form of Mithraism?
There was a Roman-era religious cult where the main worshipped god was murdered and brought back to life, and it is through this god that his followers can achieve eternal life, but non-believers will be judged and punished.
Am I referring to Christianity or Serapis (Hellenized Osiris)?
The point is that a massive amount of theology and religious ritual practice in Christianity is not derived from Judaism, but from cross-pollination from other sources, brought in by Roman converts in the early decades and centuries.
This is why I INSIST that JESUS WAS A JEW. He was NOT a Christian in any way, shape, or form…and yes, I get villified for it, but it’s still the truth.
He was a practicing Jew who followed Jewish laws & Jewish traditions, who taught Jewish attitudes & behaviors without insisting upon the trappings-of-power / caste-style divisions that the Pharisees (who were currently in power) were insisting upon using. And he did it so well and so true to the laws & rites of Judaism that the Pharisees griped for LITERAL YEARS that they couldn’t touch the guy, because he wasn’t teaching heresy, he was teaching Judaism…just a version of Judaism without the trappings of the current power structure that maintained the priesthood as the pinnacle of their culture’s society.
Jesus was a Jew, and the earliest members of the church were also Jews, though he did encourage non-Jews to learn what he was teaching, too. (Which was part of what pissed off the Pharisees, but again, was not actually against the law.)
This is actually a really antisemitic description of the Pharisees, and an example of exactly the kind of Christian-centric rhetoric and propaganda about Judaism that the original post was condemning.
I really need everyone to understand that the Pharisees were effectively the precursors to Rabbinic Judaism; they were in fact some of the earliest rabbis. Please read this source in full to get a thorough idea of the issues with this type of disparagment of the first rabbis:
The reality is that Jesus wasn’t particularly radical for his time within his Jewish community. He was one of many traveling teachers who had ideas about how to throw off their Roman oppressors that he felt very strongly about; some of them were good ideas and some of them were not. Most if not all of the high contrast to regular Jewish society at the time “rebelling against the religious authorities” stuff was written that way later by Roman converts or people trying to appeal to them. Continuing to cast him as a rabble-rouser force for good against the evil Jewish authorities is (1) exactly as gross as that sentence sounds and (2) Christian propaganda.
Half of me wants to know what some of the Christian misconceptions are about Hinduism to try to clear them up for people trying to undo indoctrination…the other half of me looks at stuff like this and wonders if I *want* to hear what insular Christians think about Hinudism. 😂😅😓
@nyxelestia I can tell you that when I was an evangelical it was basically “they have lots of gods, that’s weird. Stay away. Also their gods have lots of arms. That’s also weird.”
Like basically it wasn’t white people religion so it didn’t count.
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”
When I was a teenager, we went to Italy for the summer holidays. We are German, neither of us speaks more than a few words of Italian. That didn’t keep my family from always referring to me when they wanted something translated because “You’re so good with languages and you took Latin”. (I told them a hundred times I couldn’t order ice cream in Latin, they ignored that.) Anyway, my dad really loved a certain cheese there, made from sheep’s milk. He knew the Italian word for ‘cheese’ – formaggio – and he knew how to say ‘please’. And he had already spotted a little shop that sold the cheese. He asked me what ‘sheep’ was in Italian, and of course, I had no idea. So he just shrugged and said “I’ll manage” and went into the shop. 5 mins later, he comes out with a little bag, obviously very pleased with himself. How did he manage it? He had gone in and said “'Baaaah’ formaggio, prego.”
I was done for the day.
This makes me feel better about every conversation I had in both Rome and Ghent.
I once lost my husband in the ruins of a French castle on a mountain, and trotted around looking for him in increasing desperation. “Have you seen my husband?” I asked some French people, having forgotten all descriptive words. “He is small, and English. His hair is the color of bread.”
I did not find my husband in this way.
In rural France it is apparently Known that one brings one’s own shopping bags to the grocery store. I was a visitor and had not been briefed and had no shopping bag. I saw that other people were able to conduct negotiations to purchase shopping bags, but I could not remember the word for “bag.”
“Can I have a box that is not a box,” I said.
The checkout lady looked extremely tired and said, “Un sac?” (A sack?)
Of course. A fucking sack. And so I did get a sack.
I once was at a German-American Church youth camp for two weeks and predictably, we spoke a whole lot of English.
When I phoned my mom during week two I tried to tell her that it was a bit cold in the sleeping bag at night. I stumbled around the word in German because for the love of god, I could remember the Germwn word for sleeping bag.
“Yeah so, it’s like a bag you sleep in at night?”
“And my mother must probably have thought I lost my mind. She just sighed and was like ‘So, a Schlafsack, yes?”
Which is LITERALLY Sleeping sac … The German word is a basically a one on one translation of the English word and I just… I failed it. At my mother tongue. BIG
My former boss is Italian and she ended up working in a lab where the common language was English. She once saw an insect running through the lab and she went to tell her colleagues. She remembered it was the name of a famous English band so she barged in the office yelling there was a rolling stone in the lab…
I’m Spanish and have been living in the UK for a while now. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new office which is lost somewhere in the Midlands’ countryside. It’s a pretty quaint location, surrounded by forest on pretty much all sides, and with nice grounds… full of pheasants. I was pretty shocked when I drove in and saw a fucking pheasant strolling across the road. Calm as you please.
That afternoon I met up with some friends and was talking about the new job, and the new office, and for the life of me I couldn’t remember the English word for pheasants. So I basically ended up bragging to my friends about “the very fancy chickens” we had outside the office.
Best thing is, everyone understood what I meant.
I love those stories so much…
Picture a Jewish American girl whose grasp of the Hebrew language comes from 10+ years of immersion in Biblical and liturgical Hebrew, not the modern language. Some words are identical, while others have significantly evolved.
She gets to Israel and is riding a bus for the very first time.
American: כמה ממון זה? (”How much money?” but in rather archaic language)
Bus Driver: שתי זוזים. (”Two zuzim” – a currency that’s been out of circulation for millenia)
that’s hilarious
I am officially screamlaughing at my desk from that last one OH MY
Does everyone know the prime minister who promised to fuck the country?
So in Biblical Hebrew the word for penis and weapon are the same. There is a verb meaning to arm, which modern Hebrew semanticly drifted into “fuck”: i.e. give someone your dick.
The minister was making a speech while a candidate, bemoning the state of the world. “The Soviet Union is fucking Egypt. Germany is fucking Syria. The Americans are fucking everyone. But who is fucking us? When I am prime minister, I will ensure we are fucked!”
What the hell Biblical Hebrew.
Just guessing: The path from something like “give someone a blade” to “give someone a blade, if you know what I mean ;)” is probably not that difficult or unlikely.
^Given that the Latin word for sheath (like, for a sword) is literally “vagina”, I can verify that this metaphor is a time-honored one.
Oh yeah and one time my Latin professor was at this conference in Greece and his flight was canceled, so he needed to extend his hotel stay by one more night.
Except he doesn’t speak a lick of modern Greek, and the receptionist couldn’t speak English. Or French. Or German. Or Italian. (He tried all of them.)
Finally, in a fit of inspiration, he went upstairs and got his copy of Medea in the original Greek (you know, the stuff separated from modern Greek by two and a half thousand years). He found the passage where Medea begs Jason to let her stay for one more day, went downstairs, and read it to the receptionist.
She laughed her head off, but she gave him the extra night.
Reblogged just for Medea
The way I have to find anything on this website. Hair the color of bread, me, 2016.
My wife’s godson has known me since before I transitioned. He was at our wedding when I was still presenting as a guy. A few months after I came out he came to visit us for a while and he and I hung out and played animal crossing together. That night we got a message from his mom because he’d been asking when my wife married someone else. His mom had to explain to him that I was the same person but I was a woman now. The kicker is I didn’t even change my name when I came out so this kid thought that my wife and I had broken up and she found someone who looked almost identical and had the same name but was a lady this time and married her instead.
ALT
